Customer :D

So i was waiting on my friend that works there, i'm handing him his food that he ordered, and i say "here you go you stupid moron" and a customer from line started reaching for the food.

It made me laugh cause , 1. she thought i was addressing her, and 2. she had no problem with it. At least she knew her place .

Store meeting.

Once every couple of months, we have a giant store meeting. Everyone pretty much just stands around and it starts at 6 30 am. Someone was 5 minutes late to the last one and got fired. Shit as strict. We do get tons of free food and drinks though so im all for that shit since im a poor jabroni.

Jabroni customer #39478395

So some beady-eyed piece of trash drops her keys in the garbage in the ladies room today. She comes up to me and says, "hi, can you get a maintenance guy to come get my keys for me, i dropped them in the garbage and im not gonna go through the trash to get them"

Sure lady, ill call someone else to pick up your keys for you because your spoiled ass cant do simple shit like not throw your keys away.

Gainsharing bonus

So because of our gainsharing, my next check will have an extra 325 dollars in it. I'm excited. The busier we are, the more we get, so its good. Also fun to have some lazy days sometimes too though.

The classless jabroni.

So today some candy ass took a bite of a sample i left out for everyone and then put the bit piece back in the box.
So i wreckon this piece of trailer park trash was either A; a dumbass or B; they thought that they were so fantastic, that everyone would want their mouth and teeth germs all over the rest of the samples.

This job is like babysitting sometimes.  Also today we made deep fried rice balls and they were fantastic.

Dumb Jabroni

So today i was making burritos and pizza and doin all the shit i do. And some regular dum dum comes up to me and asks, "whats the difference between a taco and a burrito?"  such a stupid question that  i had to take a second to realize if he was joking or serious. He was serious.

more jabroni customers

so today a middle aged rich white guy was at the coffee bar (what else is new), and he asks the girl making the coffee for a fork. the girl tells him she doesnt know where they are stored and if he asks prepared foods, they will know (they are supposed to be refilled by customer service). So he says,"oh i have to ask? because last i checked i was the customer, now i have to go ask myself?"

the prepared foods section was like 10 feet away, i swear, these old fucks want to come in the supermarket and get spoiled like they are movie stars or something. whats with these shit heads?

Produce

So i worked in produce today for the first time, im excited to try it. i put in a transfer slip to try to work there instead of the prepared foods section. the food section is too hectic and like a madhouse, the produce section is a lot  less busy in terms of work, and its pretty fun to just stack fruits and stuff all day. And they always have a giant thing of cut up fruits they are packaging that we can eat when we walk by and stuff. :D

Today The burrito bar opened.

Well, now i have to make pizzas and hand rolled burritos. The custy picks what they want inside, we have lots of stuff, pulled pork, chicken, beef, lime chipotle tofu, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, olives, hot peppers, just an absolute ton of shit.


Its a lot harder now, and i had to work my ass off all day cause someone called in like a mealy mouthed piece of trash. waaaa i want my mom. 

Pizza i made today

Well today we had some left over corn dogs, so i cut up corndogs, and i put chili as the sauce, then mozz cheese, and then the corndogs.


Chili Corndog Pizza. it was good but im sure it was fattening as fuck. but oh well.

Hot Dog days of summer

Today at work was the "hot dog" days of summer celebration. We had a hot dog eating contest between some employees and some customers, a customer won.

Every section had to make food with hot dogs to sample to the customers. my section did beer battered corn dogs, the meat section did these Chili dogs with meat sauce, bakery made a pastry with the hot dog buns with a banana on top. outside we had the demo women making ice cream sundaes for people for a 5 dollar donation.

Unfortunately for me i got a migraine at like 7 pm and had to go home early. The break room must have had 60 hot dogs sitting there for people to eat, but i was too sick to eat any. what a waste.

Gainsharing

Whole foods has a gainsharing system.

What this means is, every departement has a budget and sales goals, if you come in underbudget or exceed your goals , the extra amount is divided amongst the team.

So , the people in Whole Body, which sells the vitamins and supplements, get about 300 to 400 extra dollars in their checks once a month due to the extra. (because everything in the department costs so much.




The meat section gets over 400 extra on a regular month, sometimes more. My section, gets the least, because we throw so much food out. we get like 30 bucks extra.

How employees stick around.

At whole foods, after you get hired, you get a 1 month "feeling out" process. after about a month the team you are working for i.e. produce, prepared foods, grocery etc. votes on you.

so each employee in your department gets a vote to determine whether or not you get to stick around.



Get your ass kissin' boots ready. how do you guys think you would do?

Can whole foods get me in trouble for blogging about work?

I was talkin about this blog at work today with some friends, and a lot of them told me whole foods discourages people from blogging about working there, and they made me paranoid saying i should make sure not to put my picture up and stuff like that.

maybe i should start blogging about something else, i have no idea what else i would blog about though.

The random pizzas i make at whole foods.

Whole foods will give me some random ingredients usually because they have stuff they arent using. So this leads to some weird pizzas. I'm basically allowed to cook whatever i want.

Some times i make "Cheeseburger pizza" its got ketchup, mustard,cheeseburger pattys broken up, and no red sauce, and mozzarella cheese. its really good and smells like a happy meal when its cooking.

Some times i make potato skin pizza, its got mashed potatoes, sour cream, chedder cheese, cut up bacon, and mozz cheese and no red sauce. This one is so heavy you gotta eat it with a fork.

These are just 2 examples, Do you guys have any ideas for good pizzas or pizzas you've made, i will cook the ones you suggest next time i work and post results.

whole foods benefits versus crappy ass customers.

i make 10 dollars an hour, 15 on sundays and holidays. i get 40 hours a week or more. i get health insurance with 0 copays. i get a 401k plan. so its a pretty good job.

i make pizzas at the pizza station. kids always watch me throw the dough and smile and get happy and stuff. i dont mind the kids.


its the adults that act like kids. you basically have to chew their food for them. its a market for people who want to be catered to and treated like little kids. some lady had me cut her pizza slice into little pieces for her today, i was like, lady , you might as well have me chew it up and spit it down your throat for you like a baby bird. you're a grown ass women, eat a slice of pizza like a grown up.

Some crazy guy today

so some crazy guy today opened a drink and it exploded on him in the cafe area, he comes up to me (im the pizza maker) and starts yelling at me and giving me the lazy eye. i have no idea what he expected from me, but i just had to take it cause im a whole foods employee.

Also the customers suck

All rich white people, some old douche threw a piece of pizza at me the other day, how about that shit?

The Jabronis i work with

Well, when i first got the job, i thought the customers would be the worst part, but instead the employees are the shittiest part, its all indy sluts and dumb ass hipster boys. It's a big clique and its all jabronis basically jerking each other off all day.

But they arent all bad, i've actually met  a few decent people. but for real, most of the people seem of the same mold, and i dont really fit in with most of them. but thats my fault maybe.